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How To Stop Watching Gay Porn: Explore The Reasons Why You Do It
If you've started to watch gay porn where previously you had no interest in this genre, then it's perfectly understandable that you might be questioning your sexual orientation.
The first thing to remember is that it could be that you are bisexual, homosexual, or even heteroflexible (where you are primarily straight but on occasion, could enjoy homosexual experiences). Today's world of LGBT / LGBTQ+ can be confusing and allow for a wide range of self-definitions regarding sexuality.
Exploring different orientations or sexual desires can form part of healthy sexuality and acceptance of your true sexual orientation. However, for many young men, viewing "gay male porn" is a result of escalation similar to using fetish porn. In these cases, the fetish does not hold interest in a way that aligns with their true sexuality.
Watching Gay Porn Could Be A Novelty-Seeking Behavior
Only you will be able to discover in time whether you are homosexual or have a genuine interest in actual sex with men. However, should you know you didn't have those kinds of sexual fantasies or leanings before you started using porn. In this case, it would be a strong indication of novelty-seeking behavior that doesn't reflect your innate sexual orientation.
Using porn or porn fantasies that don't align with their innate sexual orientation can be a source of stress, anxiety, and even deep disgust for a subset of people. As The Good Men Project describes:
"...a user may keep testing to see if a particular porn genre is arousing—because he happens to find that prospect horrifying (and exciting). Then he masturbates to relieve the anxiety produced. He is like a person who can't stop checking to see if the stove turns off. Interestingly, addiction and OCD produce similar anomalies in the brain's reward circuitry. Satisfaction becomes more elusive and drives continued unwanted activity." (Wilson G. &.)
For this reason, if you have begun to develop tastes for gay porn stars that don't align with your innate sexual orientation, you are likely experiencing similar mechanisms to users who escalate to fetish porn that doesn't align with their natural tastes. This misalignment can be especially true if gay porn holds some 'taboo' charge for you.
Rebooting appears to be one of the surest ways for men to discover if their tastes, including developing a taste for gay sex, have resulted from escalation and desensitization. Remember that the "Coolidge Effect" of needing ever more novelty in the types of porn they require to orgasm might account for a good deal of unusual or unwanted sexual tastes developing for many men.
It's also important to recognize that developing different tastes to what you consider innate can also affect men who know they are gay but feel drawn to genres like "hardcore" heterosexual porn or lesbian porn. This feeling can be every bit as confusing for these men, and again it can be strongly beneficial to reboot and see if a period of abstaining from using porn or masturbating to porn fantasies changes your desire to use this kind of porn over time.
Practice Self-Acceptance In Any Case
If you discover after rebooting that you feel that you have a sexual orientation that's different from what you previously thought it was, remember to keep practicing self-acceptance.
Seek support from people in your life who will help you work through what you're feeling. There is nothing wrong with being gay when previously you thought you were straight, vice versa, or even realizing you are bisexual. However, to get to your innate and healthy sexuality, first, you need to overcome your possible porn addiction.
So while straight men watch gay porn for various reasons, in the same way that straight women watch lesbian porn, and this, in any way could denote that they are indeed gay or could be seeking more novelty in their sexual pleasure by watching porn. You should do some self-searching examination to determine whether you enjoy looking at gay porn videos to satisfy your curiosity, fantasies, or the need for new excitement when viewing pornography.
Why Do Straight Men Watch Gay Porn?
As earlier stated, not all men watching gay porn on PornHub are necessarily gay. Some straight men like to look at these sorts of videos online, and they turn to watch gay pornography for various reasons. So why do straight men watch things like gay-for-pay action on the internet?
A recent study has indicated that porn videos showing two men getting intimate are popular among straight men. There are heteros who get a kick looking at two boys copulating on certain videos. One of the most popular porn sites, YouPorn, cited that 23% of the time, hetero men enjoy looking at gay porn, whereas 39% of the time, straight women like to watch such videos, too.
Not that it is irrelevant to the topic, though, but according to that survey by YouPorn, 24% of heterosexual males have actually had sex with the same gender, while 36% of straight women have had experience getting intimate with another woman.
Sexpert Alix Fox of Radio 1, together with doctors and well-being coordinators, explain why straight men who have relationships with women might watch gay porn.
For one thing, it could be a way for hetero males to rebel against gender stereotypes. There is an argument stating that same-sex relationships are more aspirational because they don't adhere to traditional gender stereotypes.
It's About Experiencing A Different "Flavour"
Doctor Miles said that there is no reason straight men would not want to watch gay male pornography because some gay men do watch straight porn, and it is not that surprising. This reverse situation holds true, and these particular individuals could be doing so because they want to experience a different flavor at times.
With regards to a broader tide of openness and acceptance, along with a more concerned community, straight men might also prefer to watch homosexual porn because they find demoralizing the way women are treated in straight porn as opposed to gay culture.
Homosexual porn provides a fresh perspective where the power imbalance is less obvious, Doctor Miles explained.
Public Health Solutions research scientist Doctor Martin J. Downing says that it's also about switching things up that straight men like watching gay porn. The sexual experiences and fantasies of an individual do not always affirm their sexual identity, Doctor Downing further reckons.
In fact, heterosexual men might get sexually aroused at the homosociality and the male bonding patterns inherently present in gay porn, including BDSM.
Watching Certain Types Of Porn Does Not Determine Sexuality
According to Brook education and well-being/health care coordinator Ruby Stevenson, an individual's sexuality is not determined by the type of pornography that they watch, according to Brook education and well-being/health care coordinator Ruby Stevenson. It's likewise about variety, what with the availability of a huge selection of porn. Consumers could merely be switching up their porn-viewing habits.
Straight men tend to get inquisitive as well. That's why they turn to homosexual porn. Ruby explains that watching different types of porn is also a healthy way to explore one's fantasies before one explores their sexual pleasure in real life.
In fact, BBC Radio 1 sexual health expert Alix Fox signified that she has lost count of the numerous queries she has received from straight men who are confused about the implications of watching gay material on their sexuality.
It could also be that hetero men watch gay pornography to see how other men's bodies look. Those fantasies of straight men getting intimate with other men could be comforting, too, due to their curiosity derived from their close platonic relationship with other men.
Gay pornography exhibits hypermasculinity, and the image of very manly and muscular men may be appealing to straight men as they find it intriguing- a divergent kind of sexual relationship than what they commonly view in regular porn.
Guys Could Be Checking Out What Other Men Are Packing
Alix Fox says that the gay porn industry offers straight guys a convenient and discreet way to check out what other men are packing. It is appealing, and even reassuring, for them to be able to privately examine a variety of other guys' body and genitalia types. It's quite often that plenty of men wonder if their dangling ballsack or circumcision scar is "normal," among other private things.
After all, these tendencies of examining other men's body parts are not socially acceptable in most cultures.
The truth of the matter is that straight-identifying men could be watching homosexual erotica because they are actually gay or curious. The Office of National Statistics has ascertained that in 2017, the number of members in the UK LGBTQ+ community reached one million for the first time. This figure is a landmark high for the LGBTQ+ community, but there is a sadder aspect too. It's because many of the individuals of the said flock are closeted, and they view porn secretly.
In actuality, gay people in Britain probably make up 10 percent of the population, as indicated by the Kinsey report.
As asserted by Stonewall, the context of this research ought to be recognized in that it may be comfortable for people to answer an anonymous survey. Still, it can be a struggle for these young people to disclose their true sexual identity to their family, friends, and colleagues.
Some men identify as being straight, but are aroused seeing two men making love. Or else, there are those guys who copulate with ladies but would probably not refuse a BJ from a bloke.
Watching homosexual porn may signify a repressed or unexplored part of an individual's sexuality for a certain proportion. Nevertheless, what is good for these people is to do away with the unwarranted stigma or shame that is still sadly surrounding anything about the identities and interests of the LGBTQ+ community members.
For those straight-identifying men who watch gay material, they should not feel ashamed about whatever they might feel.
Explore The Reasons Why You Do It
So if you're wondering about how to stop watching gay porn, the first thing you should do is be honest and decipher the reasons you do it. Other than this, it can help if you are keen on understanding the nature of this tendency as well.
You cannot be diagnosed as being ill if you watch porn, and as sex therapist and author Doctor Ian Kerner said: "I try not to pathologize masturbating or watching porn".
Certain segments in society disagree, but there is nothing inherently wrong with watching pornographic material occasionally. It is only a cause for concern if you notice that it begins to impact your life in negative ways.
What are the negative consequences of watching porn? You have to be on the lookout for them, such as when it begins to interfere with your work or social life. Sexually, too much porn can make it difficult to become aroused or achieve an erection because the pleasure signals in your brain have drowned in a metaphorical "flood" of dopamine.
You should consider watching less smut material if you begin to neglect your social life because that's all you want to do. Bailing out on seeing your friends at the last minute because you prefer staying at home to watch pornographic videos isn't a good sign.
Suppose your porn use has escalated into fetishes that you once had no interest in, or you feel your life is negatively impacted either mentally, socially, or sexually. Then it might be time to explore steps you can take to stop watching gay porn.