I think I have an addiction to gay porn?

by Brainbuddy

How To Stop Watching Gay Porn: Explore The Reasons Why You Do It

If you’ve started to watch gay porn where previously you had no interest in this genre, then it’s perfectly understandable that you might be questioning your sexual orientation.

The first thing to remember is that it could be that you are bisexual, homosexual or even heteroflexible (where you are mostly straight but on occasion could enjoy homosexual experiences). Today’s world of LGBTQ+ can be confusing and also allow for a wide range of self-definitions when it comes to sexuality.

Exploring different orientations or sexual desires can form part of a healthy sexuality and acceptance of what your true sexual orientation is. However, for many men, using homosexual porn is a result of escalation in a similar way to using fetish porn. In these cases, the fetish is not one which holds interest in a way that aligns to their true sexuality.

It Could Be A Novelty-Seeking Behavior

Only you will be able to figure out in time whether you are homosexual or have a genuine interest in real sex with men. But, if you know you didn’t have those kinds of thoughts or leanings before you started to heavily use porn, and over time a taste for gay porn has developed, it could be another indication of novelty-seeking behavior that doesn’t reflect your innate sexual orientation.

For some people, using porn or porn-fantasies that don’t align to their innate sexual orientation can be a source of stress, anxiety and even deep disgust. As The Good Men Project describe:

...a user may keep testing to see if a particular porn genre is arousing—because he happens to find that prospect horrifying (and exciting). Then he masturbates to relieve the anxiety produced. He is like a person who can’t stop checking to see if the stove is turned off. Interestingly, addiction and OCD produce similar anomalies in the brain’s reward circuitry. Satisfaction becomes more elusive and drives continued unwanted activity.” (Wilson G. &.)

For this reason, if you have begun to develop tastes for gay porn that you are sure don’t align to your innate sexual orientation, it’s likely that you are experiencing similar mechanisms to users who escalate to fetish porn that doesn’t align with their innate tastes. This can be especially true if gay porn holds some kind of ‘taboo’ charge for you.

Rebooting appears to be one of the surest ways for men to discover if their tastes, including developing a taste for gay porn, have been the result of escalation and desensitization. Remember that for many men the “Coolidge Effect” of needing ever more novelty in the types of porn they use might account for a good deal of unusual or unwanted sexual tastes developing.

It’s also important to recognize that developing different tastes to what you consider innate can also affect men who know they are gay but feel drawn to genres like heterosexual porn or lesbian porn. This can be every bit as confusing for these men, and again it can be very helpful to reboot and see if a period of abstaining from using porn of masturbating to porn fantasies changes your desire to use this kind of porn over time.

Practice Self-Acceptance In Any Case

If you discover after rebooting that you feel that you do have a sexual orientation that’s different to what you previously thought it was, remember to keep practicing self-acceptance. Seek support from people in your life who will be able to help you to work through what you’re feeling. There is nothing wrong with being gay when previously you thought you were straight, vice versa, or even realizing you are bisexual. However to get to your innate and healthy sexuality, first you need to overcome your porn addiction.

So while straight men watch gay porn for various reasons, in the same way that straight women watch lesbian porn, and this, in any way could denote that they are indeed gay or could be seeking for more novelty in their sexual pleasure by watching porn, it is best that you do some self-searching an examination to determine whether you like looking at gay porn videos to satisfy your curiosity, fantasies, or the need for something new to experience in pornography.

Why Do Straight Men Watch Gay Porn?

As earlier stated, not all men who enjoy watching gay porn are necessarily gay. There are straight men who actually like to look at these sorts of videos online. They turn to watch gay pornography for varied reasons. Why do straight men watch things like man to man action on the Internet?

A recent study has indicated that videos showing two men getting intimate are popular among straight men. There are actually heteros who get a kick looking at two boys copulating on certain videos. A well-known pornography website, YouPorn cited that 23% of the time, hetero men enjoy looking at gay porn, whereas 39% of the time, straight women like to watch such videos, too.

Not that it is irrelevant to the topic, though, but according to that survey by YouPorn, 24% of heterosexual males have actually had sex with the same gender, while 36% of straight women have had experience getting intimate with another woman.

Sexpert Alix Fox of Radio 1, together with doctors and well-being coordinators explain why straight men who have relationships with women might watch gay porn.

For one thing, it could be a way of hetero males to rebel against gender stereotypes. There is an argument stating that same-sex relationships are more aspirational because they don't adhere to traditional gender stereotypes.

Two men in a relationship are more equitable in the manner of how they execute domestic care, and this includes childcare. Doctor Sam Miles, a London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine social science researcher surmised that a significant number of hetero males turn to gay porn because, after all, it seems unlikely.

It's About Experiencing A Different "Flavour"

Doctor Miles went on to say that there is no reason why straight men would not want to watch gay porn because some gay men do watch straight porn, and it is not that surprising. This reverse situation holds true, and these particular individuals could be doing so because they want to experience a different flavour at times.

With regards to a wider tide of openness and acceptance, along with a more concerned community, straight men might also prefer to watch homosexual porn because they find demoralising the way women are treated in straight porn.

A fresh perspective is provided by homosexual porn where the power imbalance is less obvious, Doctor Miles went on to explain.

A Public Health Solutions research scientist Doctor Martin J. Downing says that it's also about switching things up that straight men like watching gay porn. The sexual experiences and fantasies of an individual do not always affirm their sexual identity, Doctor Downing further reckons.

In fact, heterosexual men might get sexually aroused at the homosociality and the male bonding patterns inherently present in gay porn, and that includes BDSM.

Watching Certain Types Of Porn Does Not Determine Sexuality

An individual's sexuality is not determined by the type of pornography that they watch, according to Brook education and well-being coordinator Ruby Stevenson. It's likewise about variety, what with the availability of a huge selection of porn. Consumers could merely be switching up their porn-viewing habits.

Straight men have the tendency to get inquisitive as well, that's why they turn to homosexual porn. Ruby explicates that watching different types of porn is also a healthy way to explore one's fantasies before they actually explore their sexual pleasure in real life.

BBC Radio 1 sexual health expert Alix Fox in fact signified that she has lost count of the numerous queries she has received from straight men who are confused about the implications of watching gay material on their sexuality.

It could also be that hetero men watch gay pornography to see how other men's bodies look like. Those fantasies of straight men getting intimate with other men could be comforting, too, and this is due to their curiosity which is derived from their close platonic relationship with other men.

Gay pornography exhibits hypermasculinity, and the image of very manly and muscular men may be appealing to straight men as they find it intriguing- a divergent kind of sexual relationship than what they commonly view in regular porn.

Guys Could Be Checking Out What Other Men Are Packing

Alix Fox continues to say that through homosexual porn, straight guys are offered with a convenient and discreet way of looking at what other men are packing. It is appealing, and even reassuring for them to be able to privately examine a variety of other guys' body and genitalia types. It's quite often that plenty of dudes wonder if their dangling ballsack or circumcision scar is "normal", among other private things. After all, these tendencies of examining other men's parts are not socially acceptable.

The truth of the matter is that straight-identifying men could be watching homosexual porn because they are actually gay or curious. It has been ascertained by The Office of National Statistics that in 2017, the number of the members of LGBTQ+ community in the UK has reached 1 million for the first time. This figure is a landmark high for the said community, but there is a sadder tale to this. It's because many of the individuals of the said flock are closeted, and they watch porn secretly, or in private. In actuality, gay people in Britain probably make up 10 percent of the population, as indicated by the Kinsey report.

As asserted by Stonewall, the context of this research ought to be recognized in that it may be comfortable for people to answer an anonymous survey, but it can be a struggle for them to disclose their true sexual identity to their family, friends, and colleagues. There are men who identify as being straight, but actually get off seeing two men making love. Or else, there are those guys who copulate with ladies but would probably not refuse a BJ from a bloke.

For a certain proportion, watching homosexual porn may signify a repressed or unexplored part of an individual's sexuality. Nevertheless, what is good for these people is to do away with the unwarranted stigma or shame that is still sadly surrounding anything about the identities and interests of the LGBTQ+ community members.

For those straight-identifying men who watch gay material, they should not feel ashamed about whatever they might feel.

Explore The Reasons Why You Do It

So if you're wondering about how to stop watching gay porn, the first thing that you should do is to be honest and decipher the reasons why you do it. Other than this, you should be keen on understanding the nature of this tendency as well.

Whether you watch porn when you're stressed, or happy, or have an extra minute and you're worried that you're becoming addicted, take comfort in the thought that porn addiction is not officially categorized as a sexual disorder because it is not mentioned in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. You cannot be diagnosed as being ill if you watch porn, and as sex therapist and author Doctor Ian Kerner said: "I try not to pathologize masturbating or watching porn".

Conservative segments in the society might think otherwise, but there is nothing inherently wrong about watching pornographic material. When done in moderation, such materials can be a good way of getting aroused and exploring one's fantasies. It would only be a cause for worry if you notice that it impacts your life in a negative way.

What are the negative consequences of watching smut? You have to be particular about them, such as when it begins to interfere with your work, or when you can no longer get an erection with your wife because you have been desensitized to stimuli of flesh and blood.

You should consider watching less smut material if you begin to neglect your social life because that's all you want to do. Bailing out on seeing your friends at the last minute because you prefer staying at home to watch pornographic videos isn't a good sign.

If watching porn is taking you farther away from your life, then it might be worth it to explore the measures about how to stop watching gay porn.

Wilson, G. &. (n.d.). Can You Trust Your Johnson? Retrieved 05 07, 2018, from The Good Men Project: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-you-trust-your-johnson/