Porn and sexual fetishes - Brainbuddy

Porn fetishes are a clear sign of porn addiction.

Have you developed a sexual fetish for a type of porn you previously had no interest in? Does your newfound porn fetish feel "unnatural" or "foreign" to you?

A change in sexual tastes is often one of the earliest signs of pornography addiction.

For many, this means a progression from once watching regular "vanilla" porn toward more niche categories, including specific fetishes you may have had no interest in before now.

There are hundreds of trending porn fetishes, some more disturbing than others.

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Common examples of porn fetishes include:

  • BDSM or BBW.
  • The desire to be a "cuckold."
  • Unusual "foot fetishes."
  • Japanese, Asian, and Latina categories.
  • "Milf" and "dilf" subjects.
  • Roleplay, cosplay, and femdom.
  • Hardcore threesome or orgy videos.
  • Webcam or voyeur-style pornography.
  • Hentai, bukkake, and other fringes.

So what does the development of a porn fetish mean for you?

Your brain might be addicted to dopamine.

The human brain craves novelty. For males especially, novelty is rewarded with the release of dopamine, that feel-good chemical you feel every time you discover "satisfying" porn.

But with time, porn that was once thrilling becomes mundane, and your brain craves something new to satisfy it. And all of a sudden, strange fetishes become desirable.

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What are the risks of porn fetishes?

For some people, porn fetishes are simply part of what they consider to be their innate sexual tastes. In other words, they were "born this way".

An innate fetish holds true only if it has existed your entire sexual life, however. Otherwise, the development of a new porn fetish is more likely related to over-consumption of pornography. In other words - porn addiction.

The downsides of porn addiction can vary. Some of the most common include:

Mental effects of porn addiction

  • A reduced appetite for life
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • "Brain fog"

Physical effects of porn addiction

  • Reduced libido
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Tiredness and lethargy
  • Struggling with ejaculation
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Disgusting porn videos can be part of the appeal.

Some people argue that 'discovering' a fetish on the internet simply reveals a taste a person always had. However, for most, seeking out fetish porn videos results from porn-induced desensitization and a craving for stimulation.

For many porn users, the element of novelty, and even shock or disgust, can work to increase sexual arousal if their usual responses have become blunted from too much porn use.

If you find yourself googling terms such as "kinky dildo handjob gangbang" late at night, it's time to ask yourself why.

Why is novelty such an important factor in porn fetishes?

Why is novelty such an essential factor when considering fetishes and porn use in particular?

Researchers have recently discovered a phenomenon known as the "Coolidge Effect," particularly relevant for young adults noticing their porn use begin to escalate.

The originating study on the Coolidge effect found that when a willing female rat drops into a cage with a male rat, the male will mate with her until he becomes bored and eventually loses his desire for sex entirely.

However, if a new female enters the cage, the male rat will respond sexually once more.

Repeating this experiment with a variety of novel female mates, the male will continue to have sex with the endless parade of females until he inevitably collapses of exhaustion.

The male rat tires of the original female and craves new mates because it unlocks a. feel-good source of dopamine. The rat brain excretes ever-decreasing amounts of dopamine with the same female, but with a new and exciting female companion, a surge of dopamine for novelty releases every time.

Humans behave like rats in a cage.

Similar mechanisms are at play in young men addicted to porn.

Developing sexual fetishes becomes a way to access new and exciting material once again, even for a variety of porn categories once of no interest.

So much porn, especially fetish material, depicts unusually graphic and often taboo situations. So when you watch this kind of material, your expectations are constantly violated, compounding the addictive mechanics at play.

Stress can amplify sexual excitement

Do your new porn fetishes shock, surprise, or even disgust you? If so, this is your brain releasing stress hormones such as norepinephrine, epinephrine, and cortisol.

These hormones increase excitement and amplify the effects of dopamine.

For many men, escalating porn use that starts to evolve into fetish material can cause a lot of guilt and anxiety. If this is true for you – you're not alone.

In a survey of Reddit/NoFap users, 36% of respondents said that "my tastes became increasingly extreme or deviant and this caused me to feel shame or stress".

Of course, sexual tastes and preferences can vary widely from person to person. So if you have had a longstanding interest in more unusual sexual practices, then porn use alone may not have been responsible.

A good way to reflect and see if fetishes have become a source of escalating porn addiction is to objectively self-evaluate how you feel, both before and after you use it.

If you find extreme fetish porn during or after masturbating, you become mentally repelled by the material. This is a strong sign of a deepening porn dependency.

Watching material that you find disturbing, and others in your life would also find worrying, can further feed into your addiction by increasing anxiety, shame, and the need to keep your addiction secret.

Are porn fetishes ruining your sex life?

If you have an intimate partner, fetish porn could be affecting the quality of your real sex life.

For many guys, real sex begins to feel unexciting compared to the endless novelty of porn. This change in libido can be even more true if you have developed fetish-related porn tastes and feel compelled to add them to sex with your partner.

If your fetishes have evolved from pornography, and your partner is uncomfortable, it's essential to ask what sort of impact this has had on your sex life.

Have your expectations about how your partner should look or behave when you're having sex changed? If so, has it impacted them and you negatively?

Can I reverse my desire for porn fetishes?

Yes. Completely abstaining from porn, known as "rebooting", will allow your brain to take a much-needed rest and rewire back to your natural sexual tastes.

Many recovering porn addicts note that after rebooting, many of the fetishes they developed no longer held the same interest. This is most likely due to their innate sexual tastes reemerging once overstimulation and novelty-seeking behavior is eliminated.

During your reboot, it's crucial not to masturbate to porn or fetish-related fantasies. Allow your brain the chance to rewire properly.

Remember that rebooting and giving yourself time to allow your innate sexual tastes to reemerge is not the same as reconditioning your natural sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is a much different thing to developing sexual tastes based on novelty-seeking addictive behavior.

As you continue your reboot, take time to use the tools you are developing to get to know yourself better – like mindfulness and self-reflection - as well as apps such as Brainbuddy to keep on track.

Allow yourself to remain open-minded about what constitutes your innate sexual preferences and tastes.

It's worth noting that one of the reasons you are quitting porn is to rediscover your healthy sexuality, and such sexuality never includes anything that causes you to feel shame, shock or guilt.